is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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