it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
