So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize