so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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