the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
