Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
