Dual....:-)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
