Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
