dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
