i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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