What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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