Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
