My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
