I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
