so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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