Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
