is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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