Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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