That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's rum buckets o'clock
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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