I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im drinking this country out of the recession.
In America we eat man semen.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
