All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
