your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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