The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
