I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
