I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
