I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
