spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize