she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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