when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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