I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
