Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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