How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When are your genitals available?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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