idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
