Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
