You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
