this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
