i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
