i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
