I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize