I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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