we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
