Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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