i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
