Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
