Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
