And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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