well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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