were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
