I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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