I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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