I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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