He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
