I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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