your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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