New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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