We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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