respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't deserve a penis
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
