Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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