My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
