I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
