You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
