soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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