I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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