maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
