your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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