I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
