I think im going to throw up on grandma
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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