Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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