she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
