you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
